My Life Depends on It

My life is where I learn.

It is in experience that the ideas, suggestions, words, prayers come to life.  Settle into my soul and my body breathes an ‘aha’.  It is joyful when I remember this and a reminder to go curious and wide-open – let the experiences come.

And I learn that time and location are often irrelevant … I cannot force an idea into my heart – I invite it and it comes as it does.

I had a powerful, wonderful, generous gift given to me last weekend.  A neighbor of my mother’s was the giver.  I’d met her, goodness 10 years ago or so when I’d moved to mom and dad’s for a while with a very young child. I was finding my way and I got to witness her finding hers through a dance with cancer.

I’d go over to her home and I’d learn what positive attitude in action looked like and sounded like.  This beautiful woman made a decision that there was no way she was going to let this get her.  And in that decision

she guarded her attitude like her life depended on it

She would speak of the gifts in her life, the fabulous doctors who were caring for her, that she’d be getting a dog again soon, that she’d be back out in the garden.

She would only surround herself with positive humans.  “I didn’t have time for anything but”.

And I saw her last weekend – flourishing, thriving, alive – just like she said.

I saw her because she came over to mom’s to see my wedding dress.  I am getting married for the first time at 45 – and I am overjoyed to be experiencing this now – right on time.  I tried on the dress and she looked and poked and tucked and quickly let me know how it could be altered to fit like a glove for the big day, and a way to tie it up after the ceremony so I could move freely (and Dance!!).  She said “do you want to do it the quick way or the right way?” and smiled that beautiful, impish grin.

I responded “honey I’m doing this once – the right way!”  So she gave me the details and it all sounded so effortless to her and I listened in awe.

And then she said “and this is my gift to you.”

And I cried.  This woman has already given me so much – she taught me what guarding my attitude like my life depended on it looked like and sounded like…at a time where my life DID depend on it.  And here she says “well Carri, have another.”

So I said through tears, “thank you!” and I practice receiving.

It is easy to be vigilant about my attitude when I can FEEL my life depending on it, in crisis.  The reality is my life is ALWAYS depending on my attitude.  It is my responsibility and I can choose the attitude I have.

What are you grateful for this day?

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